Thursday, June 25, 2009

Roy's Wild Chair Adventure!

We had a lawn chair. You know the kind--a four legged, aluminum frame, fold up fabric chair.

And it was Amelia's chair. She sat in it in the cool of every morning. She chewed the arms. She watched the birds fly overhead. It was her Chair.

On this particular day as she sat enjoying the morning, the seat of the chair ripped. Not too much, but enough to startle Amelia. She jumped straight up and out of her chair. Then she cautiously crept around it, sniffing wondering what had happened! Then a bird flew overhead and she was off doing the "I'm Gona Get You" bark and jumping in the air.

The day proceeded as normal until Roy came home. As is their habit, Roy and Amelia go in the backyard. Amelia runs and runs and runs while Roy watches--almost like she is saying, "Watch me Dad! I can run fast!" And she can!

Roy usually just stands on the patio drinking a bottle of water, watching her ..........but not today! Of ALL days, he heads toward Amelia's chair------

"Um. You might not want to sit there! The chair ripping some this morning while Amelia was sitting in it."

He looks at it. "It's not too much.", and sits down. He was warned!!!!!

I stand at the door........waiting for 'it' to happen........'it' is inevitable........I will need to help him get up if 'it' happens.......'it' doesn't break.........'it' is holding.........I guess I will go fix din.....................................

Zip................................DOWN HE GOES! He just sits there! Look on his face was amusement! He just sits there.

"Are you okay?" (I start to laugh)

"Yeah." (I laugh harder)

Where's my camera? (laughing) this point I am laughing so hard, I am crying!!!!!) harder--can't breathe!)

"Help me get up! Push on the back of the chair" (by the way, Roy is laughing too!)

"okay" (laughing so hard I am crossing my legs so as not to wet myself!)

GRUNT---Roy is a big guy. Can't.........move.........the.........chair.

Now you have to get this picture--I know the neighbors thought we had lost our minds: Uncontrollable laughter, dogs barking, Roy's butt is on the ground through the chair, I am pushing on the back of the chair, Roy's feet not able to touch the ground, he is lurching in a forward motion to help me get leverage while I push and both us are laughing so hard--we can barely breathe!

"PUSH!" "I...........AM!"

Finally, he gets his footing and stands. He looks just likes a "Three Stooges" scene where Curley's butt is stuck in a chair!!!! I absolutely loose it! I am laughing so hard, I can barely stand!!! I have to hold on to the door frame!

He shuffles to the edge of the patio......"Pull it off!".........that does it! I am totally useless! I am gone! I can't breathe I am laughing so hard! My stomach hurts! I can barely stand!

I stumble over to the chair, grab the legs and tug hard...once......twice....three times.....the chair comes off! The motion causes me to take a step backwards and causing Roy's pants to slip down as the chair comes off, and he sits down in the grass with responding thud!

He sits there a few moments.......reaches for his bottle of water.........chugs it..........slowly screws the cap back on...........he is just sitting there!!!!! Remember, I am laughing, hyena laughing, I can't breathe laughing, my stomach hurts laughing........oh my!

"You........ o........kay?" "Yeah" "Need help to get up?" "No-there is grass in my butt."

Well, that set me off even more!!!! I just know the neighbors are peeking through the fences trying to figure out what was going on. Roy and I are laughing so hard we can barely stand.

Roy gets up and brushes the grass off his butt and comes inside. We laugh about it all night long. Several times during the evening and even this morning, I break out in uncontrollable, convulsing laughter! Even as I write this, I am laughing so hard I cannot see what I am typing!!! Oh my!!!!!

Funeral services for the chair were held at the trash can shortly thereafter. Roy will need a new chair for 4th of July!

Amelia is in mourning.

Roy is injury free.

I am still laughing.


  1. OHHH MYYY! Thanks for the laugh! (Poor Roy!)

  2. Ok knowing that I to am a bigger guys. That's not worth a chuckle!! It's worth so much more!!! Sorry Roy I almost know how you felt. I made it out of the chair before it gave way. Best part is no one was around to see or take pictures!!

  3. Oh My!! That is the funniet story I'm laughing so hard I think I'm crying!! My condolences to Amelia.

  4. I am laughing so hard my eyes are watering~! Thanks for that~ I had to go read it to my kids. They loved the "grass in my butt" part.

    *sigh* great story!

  5. Bless his heart! Very funny! Sorry about the chair though.

  6. That is just so wonderful of you to share this! I just bought myself one of these chairs and hope it doesn't happen to me!

    - Lynn

  7. You have me tearing up from laughter took, Cheri. thank you for that. I am going to send this link to hubby. I think he can use a good laugh too.